Happier Days

have passed. are here. are yet to come.

tidbits of the spontaneous, mellow, thoughtful, lovely, fulfilled, unknown, normal life I live as me.

my garden grows with silver bells and cockles shells and marigolds lined all in a row, with my lamb with fleece as white as snow.

October 19, 2014 11:31 pm

hmmm. so i realized that lately i’ve been too self-defeatist. too trapped in my own anxiety.

i’m sorry about being like that, to all the people who care.

:) to be honest,

i feel a very deep and profound

happiness

all the time,

and right now.

:) go fight win!

October 13, 2014 6:05 pm

a miracle happened

my computer got super glitchy  and compleeeetely froze and not even flipping screen down could stop it and so i had to hold the power button down for forever and force it to shut down and restart and then after it restarted a lot of windows automatically opened and just out of curiosity (boredom?) checked which word documents were there AND MIRACULOUSLY, EVERYTHING THAT I HAD LOST WAS RECOVERED. like it wasn’t even that i had missed it before; the documents had definitely been reverted to their unsaved, incomplete forms after the whole corrupted file thing, but for some reason after my computer restarted EVERYTHING WAS THERE AGAIN. ???? THANK THE LORD

i mean i still have a sh**ton to do but AT LEAST I’M NOT COMPLETELY STARTING FROM SCRATCH YAAAAAYYYYYYYYYY LIFE

ahhhhhh ser herpy

That concludes this episode of “The Ups And Downs Of My Feels Concerning My Model UN Paper.” To be continued…

October 11, 2014 10:52 pm

well here was my day:

  • I woke up at 6:30 AM despite two weeks of sleep deprivation, and took this as a sign that I should make the most of a long morning and get lots of work done. I went to Adams Library, online window-shopped for futons, and then accidentally fell asleep on a couch for three hours. Retreated in embarrassment to my dorm and accidentally fell asleep for another three hours. Officially woke up at 1PM. Felt crummy yet refreshed.
  • Online window-shopped for futons until like 2pm
  • Stayed at Panera for five hours. Belabored over editing college essays for family friends and cousins. Cerebral hemorrhage from so much exposure to abuses of writing conventions.
  • One of the girl’s files corrupted Word on my computer. All my files stopped displaying and flashed white. I restarted Word. The girl’s essay was restored and I finished editing that essay.
  • Took a break; roamed the streets. Went to CVS and bought a nail file, not sure what for. Bought some string cheese. Went to Newbury Comics and almost purchased a button pin for my backpack. Almost. I know, the story is intensifying.
  • Went back to editing essays. Realized that the whole corrupted file + restarting process erased every last bit of unsaved work on my other docs, including 2 hours worth of (mind-numbingly meticulous) essays edits for my cousin, and three weeks worth of essay-outlining and writing for my Model UN paper. Consulting the internet and tech experts revealed that all of this work is not recoverable. Cried real tears.
  • Online window-shopped for futons.
  • Am currently killing time by listening to the Kidz Bop version of Wrecking Ball and writing this post. Still have not purchased a satisfactory futon. 

Lessons learned: save your effing word files, get a futon from the habitat sale, and avoid kidz bop to avoid new lows

but in other news, life is good nonetheless ^^

October 3, 2014 11:44 pm July 23, 2014 9:24 pm

this feeling is so visceral—

to not want to be a body, an anybody, anymore.

July 16, 2014 2:06 am
"Are you asking because you care or because you’re curious?"

10 word story" series - #27 (via jennayliu)

(via hiblogging)

July 14, 2014 1:34 am

i like my new shower gel. i smell like peaches :3

peachy clean

it should be illegal to smell so peachy

impeach me

July 13, 2014 1:48 pm

ohmyfreakinggoodness

dress by Guo Pei

June 16, 2014 9:00 pm

i hate boys

they’re annoying

but i don’t care i’m just gonna keep drinking my organic unsweetened trader joe’s soymilk that i only bought because it doesn’t need refrigeration and i don’t have a refrigerator until the end of next week; also it’s yummy

see i no longer care about boys i officially care more about soymilk it’s official

April 17, 2014 6:28 pm

you have only 
seen yourself 
two times

taking a picture 
and looking at the
image and staring 
in the mirror and
looking at your 
reflection

you don’t get to see 
the way your eyes 
light up when you talk
about something 
you love

and you can never 
see how beautiful 
you look when you
really smile

it’s really is kinda 
sad that you never
actually have seen yourself

but I can promise you 
I will be here everyday
to tell you what i see

R’J